Poems by Me

Untitled   6-01-2010
I am alone with you
After so many silent arguments with you
To just give us time
And give me an indication that now was right
And in this moment
I am laying next to you
Head gently resting on your shoulders
Laying in a cloud full of smoke on the ground
As you ramble on about this or that
And we dream of distant lands and travel
Of silly images, of love, of life, of conforming
And I am waiting for you to lean over and stare me in
The eyes-
Tell me you love me
And I pull my head closer to you
I turn my cheek to yours
And stare in your eyes
Silence
Here is the time, here is the moment
And my unconscious speaks
Softly whispers “dur”
And I turn my head away
And listen as your phone vibrates to the sounds of another women
And you answer “sweetheart! How are you?”
As you retreat into darkness
And I lay alone, under the cloud of smoke
Staring through the window, into the lonely sky


Benefits of Ignorance
04/10/2010
I feel seductively free
from responsibility
and the social constraints of conversation
words from foreign tongues fall deaf on my ears
I stare...unmoved



Sunday, March 14, 2010
A Play on Words

Unsurpassable depths
Unsurpassable depths to where I go
Following with mind, spirit, soul
Blindlessly leading
In the moment
To somewhere
Somewhere magical, spiritual, generously lavish
Decorated with sweat, sex, esteem, beautiful lips
Traveling by deathless glory, endless roads
But with sequencing silver spoons
Situated in the middle
Like rows of candy drops on a child’s tongue
I’m climbing, squeezing against the hard metal
For freedom, for circular wonders
To the clouds, sun, sky, to space- to reach
To ascend above, hovering around the world
Bird’s eye view of mistakes, of love, of true and burning passions
Endless roads is where I go, continuous journey- by choice
In the moment, gripping the spoon’s synthetic end
Countless sallow circular metal depths
A fantasy-surreal, cunning glee
A breeze of life, of true desire
Sensations tickle my toes, spread my legs, and breathe anticipation
Selfishly traveling to mountainous depths
With fire

Saturday, February 27, 2010
789 342 6743 Call Me XO

I feel myself a certain aniexty
between the desire of my heart
my body
my mind
like forbidden fruit
I ponder endless possbilities
between me and you
Like a tiger
on the prowell
I feel myself guilty
of the deepest fantasies
free
Its free to roam
from dark places- to kitchen-to lights
its endless desire
endless love
and endless dance
beyond me
I sit in hot anticıpation
as my thoughts dance around endless possbilites
of me and you
and we lay
unbeknownst
to the fire that lies inside me
like a flame from self fulflled desires
places in dreams by you
and you are
so much of my mystery
like I am
so much of yours.
Posted by ? at 2:35 PM 0 comments


Thursday, February 25, 2010
Tragic Love

There is one in my life
who I have loved for so long
loved, cried for, longed for, anguished over
and meddled in sweet dreams with
held tight as his blond hair wraps itself around my finger
there is nothing
nothing that could eloquently explain this
what we have is beyond language
beyond understanding
just tragic of sorts
for I love him as a whole
as a beautiful whole
with nothing untainted, nothing unexposed, nothing unsaid
I lay naked right in front of him
my heart on his table
my mind on his spoon
my body in his bed
and he consumes my every confession
five years of this in the making
summers, nights, weeks, months,
of love
floating between time, space, and distance
there is no way to describe this tragic love
but an instant in the moment when you look into my eyes
as they lay upon his
or the tears gently falling as we repeat our goodbyes
touched in disbelief
and the hopes and bitter reality of my expectations
and his
rather right or wrong
it is
naked reality, naked truth
handling itself most elegantly
in a bed full of love and broken dreams
there's only one man I love like this
and ever will
Posted by ? at 2:49 AM 0 comments


Tuesday, February 23, 2010
He

He beacons me to grow to my full potential
in exchange for loving him
while conditionally he speaks
in strange tongues
asking me if I would drop everything and follow him
in his eyes I am a business women
in his eyes, he will help me grow
just follow him and my full-potential will be
amidst dreams unfulfilled in reality
but flourishing in dreams
he tidies me with what ifs
and begs me for loyalty
but as my body years for his touch
I understand him in ways I wish I didn't
my mind, my soul, my heart says "don't"
There is no trust in me for him
no real understanding of his full extent
such a dark heart, such a heart unfamiliar to mine
such kind words spoken
and my wanderings;insecure in my future
always people tell me the clock is ticking
don't wonder aimlessly...while the clock for love is ticking
I fear you will become an old women: alone
tainted after so many lost loves
but back to... back to present moments
back to reality as I lay and type
he beacons me to reach my full potential with him
and I reject such notions- on fear on distrust on feelings to deep to describe
feeling lost,
I just want this moment
him here
me there
his hand resting gently on my ass
and me- staring blank into space,
breast cupped between the pillows
and his stanch stance bellows
in this moment
there is nothing but lust, nothing but comfort
nothing but him, I, and fact
I've become intoxicated with these moments
if love could be like these moments
I would embrace it like the warmth from the sun
and breath it in like the aroma of roses
But, I want to reach my full potential
where he fits
it's unknown
I leave that to fate.
Posted by ? at 3:12 PM 0 comments


Inspiration

Anytime I feel INSPIRATION
I find myself here
typing, wondering, lingering at my board
dream unfulfilled
like rain drops from an empty pool
fooling, pulling it's resources
dividing it equally
until every rain drops feel proud, whole of what was available
proud and whole as possible
it bounces with hopeless dreams from one pool to the next
foolishly running
without head
without palm
just legs sitting at a pew
It finds itself...lost within dreams, sweeter than now
as it lays incomplete, from which it's dreams
formed
finding reality...as much as the next
and concessions to what is real and what is dreamed
as this raindrop
I find myself
barley whole, barley new, barley beyond realization
that during these brief and bitter moments
of inspiration
I fill into the beauty of dreams
fill up...like powder milk and cheese
I dream and hope
observe and hope
and finally lay awake fantasizing
of things that make me happy.
Posted by ? at 2:27 PM

PASSING THROUGH
by Jasmine written 4/20/2010
Bid me a farewell
I’m just a passing through
Valleys filled with sparkling lakes
And trees line every street
Sweet heavenly nectar, drips from leaves’ plants
But I’m just a passing through
The dark valley is ahead
Thunder and lighting light my way
As I Shriver in sick panic
Over the glazing moons eyes
I say the same cry
Bid me a farewell,
I’m just a passing through
To waterfalls
And cliffs so high
With majestic boats skimming across the sea
As the fish sing songs and fly through the trees
I’m just a passing through
To where, I decline to answer
Just passing through
With a paint brush and a smile
As my mind creates the journey
And I feel above the sky
I know I’m just a passing through.

The Cheater
April 20 2010
I lay awake at night
Oddly I feel no guilt
Could it have ever been love? That it was so easy to forget?
As I pass through moments unaware
I start to judge my intentions
And I feel the sickness in my stomach quicken
But yet
At the same time, a repulsive relief
Sentenced by the elimination of social lines
A new breathe of air, something to add spice to my memories
If I could only keep my mouth closed
And keep this dirty secret between me and you
It would fall away from memory
From life’s imprints
And drift slowly to a dream
As I take short breaths and sense a tingling desire
I turn and look at the one I love
So secure, sleeping restfully
As his cheat raises and falls
And I gently rub my leg against his, awaken him to my passion
And tumbling into dirty, secretive and deceitful love
Collapsing exhausted next to each other as he holds me in his arms
My passion, our relationship
Renewed by an omitted confession
“I have and will always just be with you”
And my liberation