Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Black Widow

Spiders have never been a sex symbol
But for me
They have become
It is like the black widow beckons to me
Against tradition
Against better thought
Trapped between her legs
I struggle with self
But oh are her red lips calling me
To kiss
To doubt

Restricted

Restricted
I am not sure when the transition happened
Yesterday I was holding handlebars
Eating chocolate cake
Wiping the blood from my small knee wound
And now I am here
Dedicated to sitting
And waiting for something to happen
Checking Facebook, Youtube, updates on the Bay
And my young heart is jumping for 5pm
Jumping to dance in this cubical
To feel the soft carpet underneath my toes
To find a companion to play
It was only yesterday that I was watching the latest shows
Eating organic fruit smoothies and watching my weight
Complaining period cramps for PE class
And ditching school to rush to taco bell
Peter was with me, we made love, and I cried
It was only yesterday when emotions could grapple me
And now I am here 4:32
It is silent
Near Christmas time
My studio sits bare and cold
The yogurt is covered with pizza and my bank account is sad
Peter has a wife
And Todd hasn’t called
I spent my last hope on my student loans
And now it’s 4:52

The shadow of Men's Lies

The shadows of men’s lies
Echoes off the sides of my brain
Bouncing from empty space to empty space
Memories filled with tired hope and dried tears
I am exhausted
It’s fighting a losing game
Waiting for salvation, for forgiveness, for love
I am afraid
I have fought too many battles
And my tired heart can not pump with vigor anymore
These lies take me places I’ve never wanted to go
From heartbreak, to hope, to the depths of my spirituality
Struggling free of webs, hiding behind shadows
Hiding behind infidelity
It is you
You Lies
You trembling, unplanned, inerasable lies
That falls suspiciously on my eyes
The shadow’s of men’s lies
Have caught me
Taken me away

...........................Addicted to Dreams...........................

We are all living in our own worlds
Those who have embraced the breath of travel
We listen to the music that reminds of another time
Fall asleep to the melody of adventure
We see images and people from our past
And fall into their arms
Like addicts in the pathways of life
We selfishly search for that feeling again
It is those of us have experienced travel
Who are shuffling discontented in this modern world
Our time is spent searching for a way out
Passing through the halls and streets
Floating pass life totally detached from the moment
Our icy breaths
Our shaking hands
Our puffs of cigarettes
The stories we tell strangers at bars
Echoes a life once lived in a far away place where we felt truly alive
It is only those of us who have traveled
who can understand what it feels like to be alone
and surrounded by the faces of our hometow family and friends
We are always living in our own world