He

He beacons me to grow to my full potential
in exchange for loving him
while conditionally he speaks
in strange tongues
asking me if I would drop everything and follow him
in his eyes I am a business women
in his eyes, he will help me grow
just follow him and my full-potential will be
amidst dreams unfulfilled in reality
but flourishing in dreams
he tidies me with what ifs
and begs me for loyalty
but as my body years for his touch
I understand him in ways I wish I didn't
my mind, my soul, my heart says "don't"
There is no trust in me for him
no real understanding of his full extent
such a dark heart, such a heart unfamiliar to mine
such kind words spoken
and my wanderings;insecure in my future
always people tell me the clock is ticking
don't wonder aimlessly...while the clock for love is ticking
I fear you will become an old women: alone
tainted after so many lost loves
but back to... back to present moments
back to reality as I lay and type
he beacons me to reach my full potential with him
and I reject such notions- on fear on distrust on feelings to deep to describe
feeling lost,
I just want this moment
him here
me there
his hand resting gently on my ass
and me- staring blank into space,
breast cupped between the pillows
and his stanch stance bellows
in this moment
there is nothing but lust, nothing but comfort
nothing but him, I, and fact
I've become intoxicated with these moments
if love could be like these moments
I would embrace it like the warmth from the sun
and breath it in like the aroma of roses
But, I want to reach my full potential
where he fits
it's unknown
I leave that to fate.