The shadow of Men's Lies

The shadows of men’s lies
Echoes off the sides of my brain
Bouncing from empty space to empty space
Memories filled with tired hope and dried tears
I am exhausted
It’s fighting a losing game
Waiting for salvation, for forgiveness, for love
I am afraid
I have fought too many battles
And my tired heart can not pump with vigor anymore
These lies take me places I’ve never wanted to go
From heartbreak, to hope, to the depths of my spirituality
Struggling free of webs, hiding behind shadows
Hiding behind infidelity
It is you
You Lies
You trembling, unplanned, inerasable lies
That falls suspiciously on my eyes
The shadow’s of men’s lies
Have caught me
Taken me away

...........................Addicted to Dreams...........................

We are all living in our own worlds
Those who have embraced the breath of travel
We listen to the music that reminds of another time
Fall asleep to the melody of adventure
We see images and people from our past
And fall into their arms
Like addicts in the pathways of life
We selfishly search for that feeling again
It is those of us have experienced travel
Who are shuffling discontented in this modern world
Our time is spent searching for a way out
Passing through the halls and streets
Floating pass life totally detached from the moment
Our icy breaths
Our shaking hands
Our puffs of cigarettes
The stories we tell strangers at bars
Echoes a life once lived in a far away place where we felt truly alive
It is only those of us who have traveled
who can understand what it feels like to be alone
and surrounded by the faces of our hometow family and friends

We are always living in our own world

When Moments Strike

I found myself here...sipping tea at work and watching YouTube videos of inspirational quotes and how one can find their path in life.
Just yesterday...I had taken in the whims of the day and found myself happy and refreshed. Something I have not experienced in awhile.
Then today, as I type the words drink coffee and smoke...I find myself
filled with an empty desire
an impatient desire to find myself where I want to be
as if my lack of answers could lead me closer
I am looking for worldly possessions
Wondering how a car, how a place of my own, how a night class or three could
assist me in my true climb to feeling satisfied
I saw myself in a middle aged lesbian yesterday
While watching the "Kids are Alright"
I saw myself successful, selfish, depressed, and controlling
I let my beer glass fall onto the counter
as I watched with amazement of how much this
middle aged lesbian was me. Who I could become.
Seeing yourself in the mirror you can not help to be shaken
we all carry such high opinions of ourselves
stack ourselves against unrealistic human standards
and desire to rebel against the intuition.
I guess I should get back to work.
sip my green tea and dream of cigs and coffee
somewhere with an ocean view front
on my porch, computer in hand
maybe paintbrush
and content with my selfish moment
in my imagined life.