The coward acts of love

It wasn’t before or after that I felt myself fall. But it was in between. In between everything that sprang from memory and everything the grabbed at my heart in the countless “good times”. I found myself dangling in everything that had brought me to a rash decision and all of my disappointments. My heart entangled itself inside my chest and I puffed air and imagined scenarios. Living in the present moment, I feel almost defeated. That my shameless and adventurous love was unrequited. Unrequited and later abused.
As If I was running in a silly folly, chasing my dreams around the world. To find you there. Waiting for me with flowers in your hands. A kiss on the cheek. A warm and bashful heart. And maybe as confused intentions as mine. But I set the pace by silence, I dwelled in my thoughts on the past and the future. I took for granted the time here and finally I decided I was done.
Mistake of silence? The best decision? After months of thinking and years of dreaming…it became very clear. My cowardice has been met by cowardice and turned into misunderstanding and fear. Everything is personal, everything works against and for me. As we fly through years totally in love, out of love, just love, and find ourselves in this moment…..
I sit down, lips sealed, writing my every confession….as if the wind could carry it to your ears. I felt madly in love with you, more than the love I put on, and as time fades and my heart speaks a little softer, questioning the best decision of silence…my lips part ways.
Whisper half truths, and pray for your understanding. While cowardly I dream of lives with you but not together. I have given up this wild goose chase of love I felt for you. This wild adventure to be with you, to see where my silence and yours could take us. RISK, they say, nothing ventured, nothing gained…but also nothing lost.
Perhaps my greatest regret…would be believing you’d understand.

The outskirts of Istanbul on the way to Sile (Black Sea Region).

Ok, so you have seen pictures of the blue mosque, Sultanahmet, and Taksim. The pictures that scream city center and tourism. But there’s more to Istanbul than the endless skyscrapers, great party life, mixed with a touch of ancient enthusiasm. Rather, Istanbul is a mixture of climates, lifestyles, and a true merger between East and West. This little video properly depicts what Istanbul is like outside the city center. It’s ideal for a first-time introduction.




More than anything....Please Notice the SKY.

A Play on Words

Unsurpassable depths
Unsurpassable depths to where I go
Following with mind, spirit, soul
Blindlessly leading
In the moment
To somewhere
Somewhere magical, spiritual, generously lavish
Decorated with sweat, sex, esteem, beautiful lips
Traveling by deathless glory, endless roads
But with sequencing silver spoons
Situated in the middle
Like rows of candy drops on a child’s tongue
I’m climbing, squeezing against the hard metal
For freedom, for circular wonders
To the clouds, sun, sky, to space- to reach
To ascend above, hovering around the world
Bird’s eye view of mistakes, of love, of true and burning passions
Endless roads is where I go, continuous journey- by choice
In the moment, gripping the spoon’s synthetic end
Countless sallow circular metal depths
A fantasy-surreal, cunning glee
A breeze of life, of true desire
Sensations tickle my toes, spread my legs, and breathe anticipation
Selfishly traveling to mountainous depths
With fire